I'm not worried about you one bit
I think most of us are looking for more trust, which seems to be a missing nutrient in our world today.
In my editing and coaching work and in my personal relationships, one small but mighty gesture I can make toward generating more trust is to hold a vision of high regard for my clients and loved ones.
This means choosing to not bring an energy of worry and fear to the table, not scrambling and fretting and over-compensating.
This isn't always easy. Especially in our most intimate relationships.
But when I am doing my own inner work to be a sturdy presence, I can trust my loved ones or my clients. And I reflect this back to them at times when they might be struggling to trust themselves.
I learned this from my sponsor in my 12-step program.
I would call her and frantically pour out whatever awful problem I was facing. She would listen and ask questions and remind me of my tools. And then she would end the call by saying this:
I'm not worried about you one bit.
I remember in the beginning of our work together how this baffled me. What!? You're not worried? I'm a disaster! You should be! Ha.
But I also felt a tiny dose of her trust carry over to me. And it was life-giving and nourishing.
In spite of whatever doubts and fears and problems I was facing, she held a vision of me moving through the pain, growing, maturing, and flourishing.
I'm so grateful for her vision.
And now I work to bring this same gift of trust and high regard to my clients and family and friends.
And I can tell you it's life-giving.
Try it out.
The next time a friend or a child or partner is struggling, don't jump in and join them in their fear. Try not to over-compensate with helping and problem-solving.
Instead, hold a vision of high regard for them and their ability to move through their life. Listen. Ask questions, if you’d like. Maybe remind them of all their wisdom and all their tools. And then tell them how you're not worried about them one bit!
Let me know how it goes!
Brianna
Photo by Andrea Tummons.