looking for the link to book a coaching session? here you go!
Meinrad Craighead. Dogs at the Entry. 2000.
Discovering self-trust and recovering from people-pleasing and codependence is a sacred process and the dogs in Meinrad Craighead’s art above are here marking this sacred threshold for us.
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What brought me to this threshold?
Of course it’s not a linear line and it’s more like “a slow-motion miracle” as they say in 12-step rooms—but I credit profound annoyance as one of my big tipping points (healing religious trauma was another one, but that story is for another day).
I was on a walk one fall afternoon, obsessing again over the same old things and feeling completely stuck and I was walking really fast when I tripped over my feet and barely caught myself from landing face-first in the dirt. And then I felt the biggest surge of annoyance—it felt like my chest and throat would explode.
I (usually the calm peacemaker) stood up tall on the trail and I found myself yelling into an empty field: I’m so fucking sick of this story!
I threw my hands up in the air and shouted I’ll do anything just to be thinking and talking about something different!
My body tingled and the sound of my shouting voice faded and I stood there shocked by what I’d just said, by what I’d just named.
Then what?
Well, turns out I meant it.
At that point in my life, I’d already been on a journey of letting go of my black and white religion, and I’d recently quit what I thought was my life’s work.
And then I let go of my eighteen-year marriage.
I’d made a lot of changes in just a few years but even after all that, I found out I was still dealing with a ton of inner turmoil. As they say, wherever you go, there you are.
Basically, I was still treating myself like I was just one big, scary problem that needed to be solved. So I would try really hard to “fix” myself and then I would give up and numb and coast.
Shame. Fear.
Shame. Fear.
Round and round. On and on.
And I thought this was all my fault, too.
I didn’t have a compassionate understanding of how people-pleasing, perfectionism, codependency, and fawning are all adaptive responses to relational trauma.
Thankfully, I was drawn/led to Pia Mellody’s treatment and therapy model based on healing relational trauma and recovering from codependence and detoxing shame and other carried emotions.
And when I learned this model, it just clicked…all the way to my roots.
I began to detox the heavy emotions I’d been carrying that weren’t even mine. I began esteeming myself from within and reparenting myself. I began to really feel what it feels like to trust myself and to have my own back and live from a deeper and sturdier and self.
I began to like myself (!!) and I began to get to know myself for the first time in decades.
And I’ve been working with this practice ever since.
Of course I don’t live from this deeper selfhood all of the time. But I’ve really tasted it. And I know that this is a path we can take, and that it has profound and practical implications that ripple out in our lives and the world.
So many of us were never taught this and don’t even know it’s possible and we don’t have a compassionate understanding of why we do these behaviors or how to shift them. When I started teaching my clients this model, I saw the life-changing shifts in them, too.
And that’s why I’m here coaching folks through this process of discovering self-trust and healing codependence and people-pleasing. And good news—it doesn’t happen by grim determination and you don’t have to do it alone (thankgod).
yep, this is me as a kid…
…like the dogs in Meinrad Craighead’s art up above, she’s also here marking this sacred threshold. And I think you have a younger part in you doing the very same.
So, how do the coaching sessions work? (Nuts and Bolts Short Version)
An initial 90-minute lay-of-the-land session ($155)
Then we’ll meet for 60-minute sessions ($111/session) and you set the pace for how often we’ll meet and for how long
Sessions are done via phone, zoom, or walk-and-talk sessions for coaching clients in Northern Colorado
So how do the coaching sessions work again? (Expanded Version)
We meet for an initial 90-minute session ($155/session). From then on we meet for sixty-minute sessions ($111/session) usually every two weeks for a couple months to start, but my clients often want to keep working with me because it’s just that helpful in their lives!
In a session, first you’ll tell me what you’d like to focus on: the longing you can’t seem to trust, the resistance you feel when you sit down to write, the dread that makes you want to crawl back into bed, or the neighbor who keeps parking in your spot (the little things are the big things).
Then I use my coaching intuition to sense into what you’ve brought to our session, and based on that, we proceed with some tools, teaching, and exercises. For example, I’ll introduce you to or remind you of wisdom teachings on owning and expressing your own reality, containing and protecting yourself, or tapping into your inherent preciousness, and then we’ll move through the mechanics of how to apply those wisdom teachings in your day-to-day life. Other times we might explore a metaphor you used to describe the situation (you’ll talk about “sweeping it under the rug” and so we’ll do a visualization where you’ll lift up the rug and discover what’s under there and the wisdom it has to offer—always so much!).
In all of this work, helping you tap into a deeper selfhood is my foundational perspective. We might talk about the different names for this wise part of us: In IFS it’s "Self with a capital S," Thomas Merton calls it "True Self", Martha Beck calls it "integrity/essential self," GI Gurdjieff and Cynthia Bourgeault call it your “second body," Pia Mellody calls it your "functional adult self," 12-step tradition talks about being restored to the “sane” part of us, and Clarissa Pinkola Estés calls it accessing “second world.” (Yes, these are some of my primary teachers.)
Toward the end of the session I’ll check in with you to see how things are going. I’ll ask you to share what this process has been like for you or what you want to remember. I might ask if I can share an insight or a powerful moment I experienced in the session. I always learn so much from my clients!
Then we’ll close the session. Later, if you'd like, I’ll send you a recording of the session and invite you to email me any thoughts/questions between sessions.
How does it all add up?
Here’s what my clients have found in our work together…
This might all sound like a lot, and it is! Because our coaching work happens at the tipping point, at the intersection where we’re willing to make real change and want support doing it. It’s a potent space.
+ This is not about treating ourselves like a problem to be solved or just another personal improvement project. It’s about healing all the way to the roots and taking loving and conscious responsibility for the life we’ve been given. +
The details…
my training
I’m a certified Martha Beck Wayfinder Life Coach.
I’m a Developmental and Relational Trauma (DARTT) level 1 trained coach and I’m currently training in level 2.
I’m a graduate of The Center for Action & Contemplation’s Living School founded by Richard Rohr.
And I’m a lifelong student, and continue to learn from and take trainings with people like Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés and Rev. Dr. Cynthia Bourgeault.
rates
Initial session is $155/90-minutes Ongoing sessions are $111/hour.
I offer a set number of reduced-rate (80% off) coaching spots for those experiencing financial hardship. No explanation needed—just send me a message and let me know that you’re interested in one of my reduced-rate coaching spots. I’ll let you know if there’s availability to start right away or I’ll put you on the waitlist.
how/where
Wondering how to book? See my calendar and sign up for a session here.
Sessions are done via zoom or over the phone.
For Northern Colorado clients, I offer walk-and-talk sessions in Fort Collins, CO. We meet at a local park for our session and walk side-by-side while talking.
what my clients are saying…
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"When I first signed up for coaching, I wondered if I was too type A, too "go-go-go" and project-manager-minded for it to really be effective. What I found is that Brianna has such a gentle and insightful process that I could bring anything to the session, including the “go-go-go” part of me. Brianna excavates but doesn’t use heavy machinery. She helped me look at what's under the rug in all kinds of different contexts and created a space where I was comfortable to go there, to look it in the face, and to work through the limiting beliefs and the sticky emotions with courage and compassion. I’m braver in my life (and made a huge, life-giving career change!) because I've been brave enough to stand with this stuff in session with Brianna."
—Steph K.
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“Thank you Brianna for the encouragement and proposing a way of doing this whole ‘trust’ thing differently. Before this, I surely haven’t given a shit about trusting myself. Maybe even ever. Thank you.”
—Matt G.
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“Before working with Brianna, I had never tried life coaching and I had no idea what to expect. I began sessions right after my mum died and I was amazed by how open and vulnerable I could be. This opened me up to a world of self-discovery. Brianna has a gift of lovingly coaxing my inner self to the surface. Her guided creativity framework, especially the visualization exercises, has been transformative and helpful during many tricky life transitions. Each session leaves me feeling anchored, empowered, and ready to ride the wave of the wild card!”
—Liesa O.
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"I sometimes fear being judged and I was a little nervous about that with coaching. But Brianna’s approach is kind, relatable, and non-judgmental—she’s multi-faceted and comfortable with herself, which allowed me to be more comfortable with myself and all my facets, too. Our coaching work leads me deeper into whatever topic I am looking at or gives me a complete about-face. Most recently in a session, I saw that I am, in a sense, the CEO of my own health journey and not a victim of my healthcare providers, which was a giant turnaround for me. I'm feeling comfortable asking questions, sometimes demanding answers, and I just feel completely different in my approach to my own body and health.”
—Rosemoon M.
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“Brianna is such a warm and present coach, guiding you to open your eyes. I learned a lot about myself and found ways to tackle things I had been stuck around for a long time.”
—Morana K.
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My sessions with Brianna were seriously life-changing. I still feel so close with my friends after moving to a new state, and I think if I hadn't gotten help from Brianna, I may have turned away from them out of fear or old patterns instead. And I'm working on writing my novel! I got 11K words in, but then I decided I want it to feel more magical, so I'm adding a fantastical portion and am back to the drawing board for now. But I'm allowing the time I need for that, rather than stressing about continuing to add word count. And our session on that helped me big time getting unblocked there. Working on it has been lighting me up so much!
—Christy U.
