the right to make mistakes

A little love note to my fellow recovering perfectionists...

When I'm in a shame attack, I forget my humanity. I forget I have rights, including the right to make a mistake. 

I used to edit a literary magazine, and I would literally be unable to open the new issue when it arrived (I would ask someone else to open it first) out of fear of finding a glaring typo.

I didn't know that making a mistake is a right that I have. The right to not be a robot. The right to not be perfect. The right to be a human goofing up, making a mistake, and then moving on.

I love framing it this way, because it reminds me that mistakes are something worth claiming—one of our human rights! 

And since then, I've learned some functional ways to approach mistake-making. 

If I think I made a mistake, it helps to name it and handle it lightly—oops, I goofed! No more avoiding.

It helps to check it out with a friend and make sure I'm not being too hard on myself.

If someone was harmed and amends are needed, I can make amends (lightly!) and then move on with life. This is the kicker—and then move on. 

And these days, I'm even interrogating my idea of what qualifies as a mistake. According to whom? I might ask.

It helps to remember the mysteries of trying to classify right and wrong. This is not a science. 

And we get to claim the right to make mistakes.

Here's a beautiful poem about a supposed "mistake" from poet Laura Gilpin's book The Hocus Pocus of the Universe. 

Here's to seeing twice as many stars as usual.

Sending lots of human, mistake-filled love to you,
Brianna

P.S. If you want support around being human and making mistakes, I'm here. 

Photo via Unsplash: Sarah Kilian @rojekilian