the creative cost of over-responsibility for others

“Many of us find that we have squandered our own creative energies by investing disproportionately in the lives, hopes, dreams, and plans of others. Their lives have obscured and detoured our own. As we consolidate a core through our withdrawal process, we become more able to articulate our own boundaries, dreams, and authentic goals. Our personal flexibility increases while our malleability to the whims of others decreases. We experience a heightened sense of autonomy and possibility.” —Julia Cameron

Whewwww.

I remember reading those lines many years ago in Cameron's The Artist's Way and being stopped in my tracks. At that point I don't think I'd ever made the connection between my exaggerated sense of responsibility for others and what that cost me creatively.

But Julia lays out the price really clearly. And it sounds like she knows this truth from personal experience, as do I. 

And yes, it is a detox or "withdrawal" process. And I've found there's also a lot of grieving to do about what we've given away. 

And yes, as we consolidate a core, we begin to foster a sturdier sense of who we are and what we're about, which, I think, is a prerequisite for our creative work (and one that so many of us skip over). 

And yes, "our personal flexibility increases while our malleability to the whims of others decreases." Addiction specialist Pia Mellody says this is how we experience "functional power" aka "living in action rather than reaction to other people."

Have you experienced the correlation between over-responsibility for others and what that costs you creatively? What's it been like to withdraw and consolidate your core?

With care,
Brianna

photo by @gervele