finding our teachers via bafflement + fascination

As I’ve shared here in the past, I’ve been re-examining my relationship with money. A couple years ago I read the book It’s Not Your Money by Tosha Silver.

I read a lot of psycho-spiritual books and I'm an editor for these kinds of books, too. So, usually I'm pretty good at synthesizing the concepts and finding my key takeaways. With Tosha's book, I was really into it but I could not hold onto what I was reading. 

I remember trying to tell a friend about the book (this is one of my favorite hobbies—and bless my dear friends for listening to my book reports!), and I literally drew a blank. All I could tell them was that I was fascinated by the book and really drawn to it. My friend commented on how odd it was that I couldn't tell her anything more specific and I agreed! 

But I just kept plugging away and I've re-read It's Not Your Money three or four more times since.

And I think it's finally starting to sink in! Ha. I'm completely smitten with the process of offering and receiving/giving that Tosha teaches in her book. 

But zooming out more, I know I've also had this kind of bewildering/powerful experience over the years with other teachers/lessons/books—I'm really drawn to something...and it completely baffles me.

I've learned to trust this feeling and now see it as one of the mystical breadcrumbs I follow to bring me to the books I need to study or the teachers I need to find. 

What do you think? Has this simultaneous attraction/confusion ever happened with you and a book or teacher?  

With care,
Brianna

photo by @alexmoliski