the new planner

I was on the hunt for the perfect planner for years. I also thought if I could just find the right clock with the perfect alarm, that might solve everything, too. Ha!

I thought my problems were poor time management and organization, that I just needed to be more disciplined. 

I have such compassion for the me that believed that for all those years. It was a good guess, as Elizabeth Gilbert says. But it was also really hard on me. I felt like I was constantly failing. 

And I remember when I read David Whyte's The Three Marriages (a beautiful book about the marriage to another person, to our self, and to our work), and these words stopped me in my hunting tracks:

"The sober truth is that any of us can find the time to write a book, no matter the schedule of unstoppable events in our life. Finding the part of us that wants to write the book is a different matter altogether....It takes a good, settled sense of what we are about, first to think that we deserve the time, and then to arrange our day so that what we want comes about.” 

I think you can apply David's insight to any kind of longing or desired change, not just the longing to write a book. And it is a sobering truth.

His words named why all my efforts for change hadn't panned out. It wasn't about finding the right amount of time. It was about finding me! And I could hardly believe the agency that David was offering—that I had the power to arrange my day so that what I wanted would come about. Really?!

This quote lived for many years at the top of whatever Word document was holding my thoughts and dreams. And it reminded me to connect first with my longing and trust in its deservingness and then, miracle of miracles, the timing/arranging seemed to flow with a lot more ease. 

Of course finding and believing in the part of us that wants to make the thing or make the change is not quick and easy. But it helped me so much to look upstream—to know that this was the starting point, the place to begin. 

Have you been stuck in the cul-de-sac of thinking time management or a lack of discipline was causing all your problems? 

I really hope this shift in perspective helps. 
Brianna