the conditions that bring forth something new

I was telling a friend the other day how it really helps me to remember (and practice) my larger commitments when I'm struggling or feeling low. My larger commitments involve being of service and taking conscious responsibility for the life I've been given—basically to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. 

I sometimes forget the power of remembering this and I think it's because it seems fairly counterintuitive. If you're struggling, you might think you need to lower your expectations for yourself or just focus in on yourself. 

But for me, I need to widen the lens. I need to remember that I am not fragile, and that I am capable and have important work to do as part of my tiny pixel of the larger picture. 

I need to remember the post I feel called to hold, even as I'm struggling.

And I don't have to wait until I'm feeling better to start showing up this way. In fact, showing up consciously in the midst of my struggles may be one of the most potent spaces for true transformation. This feels like such a relief because I can take my focus off of thinking my goal is to quickly remove struggles and low points. Instead, I can begin working with those periods as fertile and sacred ground. 

One of my spiritual teachers Cynthia Bourgeault says: "Progress comes through the voluntary acceptance of constriction and diminishment. And that's the unpleasant bottom line. Because all of us think that evolution comes through expansion. And we automatically equate our larger personhood with expanded space, expanded agency, endless opportunity, a whole canvas to paint on. But it's actually, spiritually speaking, in the opposite direction. It's in the leaning into the conditions that you at first experience as intolerable, that you gradually realize that they are exactly the conditions that bring forth something new, something that can't be born forth in any other way." (from Nurturing Second Body)

What do you think? Does this feel both counterintuitive and like a relief to you? Many of you write back to me when I send out these little letters, and I love hearing your thoughts. So keep 'em coming and I'd love to hear what you think on this. 

With lots of care,
Brianna

Photo by Sandy Millar