making amends to your younger self

This is the me who was calling all the shots on that retreat. She has lots of great ideas. :)

Some years ago I took my younger self on a silent retreat as a way of making amends. I told my younger self that I wanted to hang out with her during the retreat and get to know her (she was thrilled and floored).

It ended up being four magical days of self-compassion, a kind of living amends as they call it in 12-step groups. And it's something I now practice often.

What I learned on that retreat was that the first step in making amends to our younger self (and younger can be you as a child or you ten years ago or it can be the you of five minutes ago) is to acknowledge that amends are even needed, that harm has been done.

To admit to the truth of the harm is to see and honor that younger part of you and let that part be visible—this can't be skipped.

When I told that younger part of me that I wanted to spend time with her and then proceeded to do just that it was a living amends because I had spent so many years living for others and leaving myself. And it wasn't an intellectual exercise. It was an embodied experience.

For those four days, I checked in with my younger self and let her choose the activities, the food, the books I read, what time I went to bed, etc.

And I experienced the amends in my heart and in my body. When we make amends, trapped energy can flow again.

With love,
Brianna